Parenting a toddler does not have to be nearly as difficult as we, and by we I mean I, sometimes make it. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, parenting a toddler is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Not just because of the potty training and the occasional tantrums, but because respectful parenting requires a lot of intentionalities. It requires being fully present and taking to the time to teach and correct instead of just punishing children for being children.
My experience with my toddler has been harder than I thought it would be, and after trying to implement a few different methods I’ve decided that I am going to stick with and be consistent with the Montessori Method and other methods that encourage more positive ways to parent. Negative reinforcement doesn’t work for my family, so I am going to be more intentional about studying and implementing better ways to parent.
My top 3 lessons from the Montessori Toddler to implement this week are:
1.Using More Positive Language
“Instead of telling a child what not to do, we can tell them with positive language, what they can do instead. Rather than, “No Running” (what they shouldn’t do), we can say, “We Walk Inside” (what we would like them to do).
-The Montessori Toddler pg. 114
Life as a toddler mom sometimes feels like it’s filled with more no’s than any other word in the dictionary, and honestly, I am tired of it and I am sure that Josiah is tired of hearing it. “No” is a two-letter word, it takes no effort to say which for me is where the problem lies. Using positive language in place of “no” makes me have to take time out to communicate and teach Josiah the behavior or action that is acceptable, and it helps him going forward to understand where and when certain actions and behaviors are acceptable.
2. Dealing with Frustration
We all get frustrated. The difference with toddlers is that they don’t know how to manage their frustrations the right away nor do they know how to name their emotions. As of right now, Josiah is stuck at being happy, unhappy, or angry. I want to help change that by helping him to deal with his frustrations, through offering help when he feels frustrated pg. 169, and by helping to give him other words to explain the way he feels.
3. Implementing a Daily Rhythm
“Toddlers thrive on regular rhythm. They like the predictability and knowing what is happening now and what is coming next. It provides them with a feeling of safety and security.”
-The Montessorri Toddler pg. 136
Our schedule has been off since the start of the pandemic. The moment Josiah came home from school, my husband’s schedule changed, and I lost my teaching contract our schedule completely flipped. We’ve been up all night and sleep the first half of the day, which throws the entire house off. I made it a point at the start of this year to slowly ease back into some semblance of a routine, however, I don’t have it completely down just yet. I do however have a framework so this week I want to be really intentional about tweaking the current framework and using the entire month of March to get that daily rhythm down.
As I was writing this post I thought it would be a good idea to identify 3 key principles/methods from the Montessori toddler each week, so this will be an ongoing series. Like I said earlier I really want to parent more effectively and in a way that works for our entire family. What usually makes doing that difficult is that there are a lot of things to remember, which can make it hard to implement these principles and implement them consistently. I think by scaffolding these principles and methods it will be easier to acclimate Josiah to them, and for us to acclimate ourselves to them as well.
I look forward to trying these methods out this week and will update you on our progress in next weeks blog.
As always, thank you so much for reading! I’ll see you in the next blog!
