The way God works truly amazes me. I am a big believer in signs and wonders and the fact that God is able to work miracles that can blow our mind, so I wasn’t all that surprised with the outcome of rushing my son to the emergency room on last Saturday.
Last Saturday was quite different for me. I had a board meeting and I went to the grocery store which I generally do during the weekdays in order to avoid overly crowded grocery stores. My sister kept Josiah for me while I ran errands for the day. When I got home I was greeted with excitement by Siah who I promptly placed in his walker so that I could put the groceries away and fix myself something to eat since I was practically starving. While in the kitchen Josiah started hollering and whaling at the top of his lungs. Now, I can’t lie ... initially, I thought he was just being a bit dramatic because he wanted to be picked up so I laughed it off. Well, he kept crying so I picked him up and began to check to see if something was wrong, upon inspecting him I noticed his eyes were basically swollen shut.
I began to panic slightly, taking him to my mom to get her expert opinion of what could possibly be wrong with him. She looked him over and said it looked like he had pink eye because not only were his eyes shut but he had a white discharge matted on them. Did I mention that just moments before he began crying he was perfectly fine and happy? So I was more than confused as to how in what seemed like a split second he’d suddenly developed pink eye. My mom prayed for Josiah then, I immediately threw a sleep and play jumper on him, put my shoes on and made my way to the emergency room.
We waited about five minutes before we were called to the back and Siah was examined by the physician. As I was explaining to the Doctor what had happened he was looking at Siah and noting that absolutely nothing was wrong with him. No redness, no swelling, no discharge, Josiah had nothing but big clear eyes and an even bigger smile. And me? I felt like a crazy person at that moment for freaking out the way I did.
They say that “hindsight is always 20/20”, but did anyone ever say how long it takes for it to kick in? For me, hindsight kicked in the moment we got back in the car from our 15-minute visit to the ER and I began to reflect on what had just happened. As Elevation Worship’s Here as is in Heaven played in the car on our ride home I heard God’s word being repeated over and over in my head. He was telling me to “be still and know that I am God”.
In those fleeting moments of Josiah’s eyes practically being glued shut I lost sight. Instead of praying as my mother did for my son, I began to panic and completely disregard the word of God that I’ve been downloading into my spirit over the last few months. I forgot to be still and know that he is God and that he would never leave nor forsake me even in the moments when sickness has fallen on my sons' life. I forgot to remember that sickness has already tried to claim my child’s life and has failed due to a lot of prayers and that God’s hand is on my child’s life. What I learned last Saturday was that:
Being still isn’t the absence of worry, it’s knowing that the power of God outweighs any worry and anything that will try to come against you.