Relationship Goals: Before the Person

As part of the Love Series here on the blog our Sermon Notes will be coming from Pastor Micheal Todd at Transformation Church. Relationship Goals: Before the Person covers everything God meant for us to be before entering relationship with anyone.


When people think about relationships they don’t think about the church, Christians, or Gods people.

Many christiAns have failed at relationships.

What is the biblical model of relationships?

  • People understand the relationship part, but the goal part is misunderstood.

  • Goal: the result or achievement towards which an effort is directed.

  • So effort has to be directed to reach a goal.

    God wants us to have successful relationships

  • You can’t have relationship goals if you aren’t aimed at the direction of what God has for you.

  • People and things get damaged when we do not have clear aim at what God wants us to have in relationship.

God wants us to have relationships but we have to have a goal that is aimed at something that is stable.

The only thing that is stable and unwavering is the Word of God.

“The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Let the standard of relationships be the word of god

Before there was ever a person there was already relationship: The Father, The Son, & The Holy Spirit

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:18 NLT

God wants relationship for you.

  • God created us to be in relationship with people.

  • It’s not God to set up a life that is guarded and isolated, that is when the enemy attacks.

  • Anything that goes against the word of God is a lie.

  • If you have someone around you they can point the lies out.

  • God does want us to have friends, He wants us to be in marriages that work.

    God is a redeemer

    “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

    ‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:9-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    You can tell whether a relationship Is for you by whether or not they are helping you.

    Is the relationship helping you?

  • If people are keeping you stuck to your chains they are not helping you.

  • Relationships where the purpose isn’t known open the door to the devil.

  • God designed an order for relationships to be successful.

    “Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made. The Lord God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground—trees that were beautiful and that produced delicious fruit. In the middle of the garden he placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”

    ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:8-9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    “The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”

    ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:15-17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

  • There are five things God wanted to give us before the person.

  • We look for people to take the place of what only God could give us.

    What God desires to give you before the person

    A place:

  • God desires to place you in a place where he knows purpose can happen in your life.

  • God gave Adam a place he didn’t have anything to do with.

  • God gave Adam a place. He created Eden and he placed him.

  • What we think is a coincidence, God has placed us in.

  • We fight the place so hard.

    The second thing God reveals in a place is purpose.

  • If you embrace the place, you can then embrace the purpose.

  • God placed Adam in Eden.

    comfortability and growth Don’t go together

  • Until you stop fighting having people in the places only God can fill you will always be disappointed with where God has you.

  • When you’re uncomfortable and you can’t stand the place you’re in God is trying to pull back purpose.


  • If you have to position yourself to provide for what God is trying to do, it’s not him.

  • God supply’s where he calls us to.

  • God only funds his ideas.

  • God makes provision grow wherever he is.


  • God made us to be like him, made in his image.

  • If your identity is being defined by anyone beside God or being defined by anyone but God, you have a missed view of who you are supposed to be.

  • The enemies number one tactic is to have you not know who you are.

  • You will never be completely comfortable in an identity that is not you.

  • You never have to guess your identity, God has given it to you.

    If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything

  • That little quirk, God will use to change peoples lives.

    God wants to use all of you


  • God set parameters because he loves us.

  • God gave parameters before a person because if you don’t have a standard before you get in relationships, the relationships will create the standard you live by.

  • Two is better than one, at everything, including messing up.

    “You say, “I am allowed to do anything” —but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.”

    ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭10:23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    The real power of living a mature Christian life is when you know you can, & you don’t have to.

  • The real power of being secure, is that you can do whatever you want but you don’t have to.

  • The walk of a mature believer is that you set those parameters and you walk with someone to remind you that those parameters were set to keep us safe.

  • God is the only one who has what you need.

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.”

‭‭2 Peter‬ ‭1:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

  • Before a person, if you get to know the Creator he will be begin to fill all the areas that are filled by people’s opinions.

  • All you have to do to see God start to move things out of your life is to spend time with him.

  • Anything worth doing, is worth doing continually.

  • When you are filled up with God, the enemies lies can’t stick.

    Allow God to put you in a place, give you purpose, provide provision, give you identity, and set parameters.

    Before the person.

  • If God isn’t enough, no person will ever be.

As always I hope these Sermon Notes blessed you. Remember to listen to the message for yourself, you may catch some things that I missed.